I had just gotten in my pitiful retirement quarterly summary. It's been goin' down down down lately. This is the first time it had an upward swing in a long time. I jokingly told a friend that if I didn't get a teaching job, I wouldn't ever be able to retire. Once I said it I realized IT'S TRUE. My grand total at the height of my IRA was around $7K. (Why should I even mind posting such a pathetic amount online?) With the economy it dropped down to around $3K. Less than half. So even with it goin' up a little this quarter, it is still quite a pitiful amount for my age. I guess if a doctor tells me I have 2 months to live, I can retire. Teaching or winning the lottery are the only options I have for future retirement.
So the job search update is this: I have been applyin' at places I don't want to live because I have been pretty much gettin' a "don't call us, we'll call you" kind of vibe from the places I've applied so far. The hoops you have to jump through to get through the application process are ridiculous. I'm fillin' out an application right now that wants me to put in all the hours of every class I've had in college. Oh, they want my transcript too, but I also have to put all that information on the application. You know the old "Fill in ALL blanks. Do not write 'see attachments'". So I'm marching on, but it is tedious. I'm averaging about one application per day.
Oh well, my IRA just went up so that means my luck is changin', right?
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
calm - Music:Don't Worry 'Bout Me -- Frank Sinatra
I figured it was worth another shot since some friends were treating. I will say that this visit may have very well been clouded by the fact that I had driven 2 hours in a 105 degree Texas summer with no air conditioning in the car. By the time I got there, I just wanted a glass of water and time to re-hydrate. I was too hot to order anything cooked, so I got a salad. Not a good choice.
The portion was good. The overall IDEA of the salad was good. The salad was not. Imagine a vat of oil with iceberg lettuce floating around in it. Now imagine you skim the lettuce out with a strainer and toss it on a plate. Every single leaf of lettuce was drenched in oil. I'm guessing it was supposed to be vinegar and oil, but all I could taste was oil. Sprinkle sparingly with chopped green and black olives and put on some powdered parmesan cheese. Now charge over $6 for it and you get the idea.
If I could have reinvented the salad, it would have been an equal mixture of iceberg and romaine. There would have been double the olives (you don't need too many or you have gone overboard). Cut up some roma tomatoes and ample amounts of artichoke hearts. Lightly drizzle with vinegar and oil (in equal amounts) and have a cup of it on the side in case the patron wants more. Grated, not powdered, parmesan on top. On the table you have 2 grinders: one with sea salt and the other with peppercorns (please leave the regular table salt and powdery pepper to the sit down fast food restaurants). Now you can charge over $6.
Ambiance? They barely rate a star for this. Keep in mind I am rating THE Campisi's on Mockingbird. The only ambiance is the history of the place with its mob ties and story about Jack Ruby having eaten there. The building that has CAMPISI'S written all over it, isn't in fact where you enter. I knew this from before, yet my journey through the heat seemed to have melted part of my brain and I couldn't remember how to get in. I was greeted by 2 metal doors both with large storage locks on them. I had to ask some tourists how to get in (pretty sad since I've lived in Dallas longer than I've ever lived anywhere else). You have to go to the end of the unattractive little strip mall and enter where it says "Egyptian Restaurant". After having been out in the blinding light looking at a glaringly white building for an entrance for a good 5 minutes, you are greeted by pitch black.
I stood there for all of 2 seconds trying to adjust silently right inside the door before I started looking for my friends. The hostess promptly greeted me and I told her I was meeting some people and I was quite blind. I didn't get a chance to tell her to give me a couple of minutes before I was grabbed on my left arm by a very helpful lady that had been drinking. "Give it 6 seconds and you'll be able to see." She slurred several times. Normal people's eyes adjust quickly. Mine do not, which is a reason I don't drive at night: I am utterly blinded by oncoming cars' headlights. I knew it would be longer than any 6 seconds. In the meantime another person touched, but perhaps stroked is a better word, my right arm. "I'm glad you can't see me then. You are very cute." This was one of the waiters. I could tell because by now my eyes had adjusted enough to make out basic outlines around people and I could tell faintly that he was wearing the white button up shirts and black aprons that all the employees there wore. The hostess pulled me forward and asked what the name of my party was then. She gets props for promptness and the rescue.
She led me into the dining area (naturally I had entered at the bar), which was only nominally more lit. Now I could see why it was so dark. The same lack of lighting that would make one come to the conclusion that I'm cute, would also hide the lack of decor. I couldn't say there was much going on there. I am not a fan of the ceiling tiles that look like they belong in an office or mobile home. Some restaurants have the good taste to paint them or replace them with decorative molded tiles. I think that would have improved the atmosphere quite a bit. There was a jukebox which accounted for the lack of background music. Occasionally a waiter would go start up the Battle Hymn of the Republic or some other such patriotic instrumental. It was July 4th after all. I just think the jukebox should have been in the bar and some pleasant Italian/Mediterranean music should have been piped in.
I can't say I won't eat here again. When you have friends that love to eat at a place, you just suck it up and go. Besides, the company is really what I went for. I will have to try something else next time though. Maybe the pizza. I would ask for recommendations, but it seems as if everyone in Dallas is enamored of this place and can say nothing bad about it. Then again, maybe they're just afraid of the mob.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: amused
- Music:Estrela da Tarde -- Liana
I would like to have a job soon, because I want to have plenty of time to set up my classroom and have some lesson plans ready to go. It's hard to plan when I don't know what grade levels I will be teaching. I am really hoping for middle school. Funny since originally I wanted elementary first. Now that I've worked in both settings, I lean a little more toward the middle school age. I still like elementary though. I think it would be a lot of fun either way.
I'm wanting to do units and have some character building activities in them. I'm thinking a good first of the year character project would be about resourcefulness. Artists have to be resourceful, sometimes that is the best inspiration. I may HAVE to do a unit on that if I get a job last minute. I may not have a lot of supplies. O_O I found an article on making recycled paper. I also went to a workshop where the artist painted with tea. It made some beautiful sepia toned images. Might be a good transition into printmaking with erasers. Collage is good for that as well and maybe a sculpture with found objects. It will not only allow me time to figure out what I can do the rest of the year, but it will be a good lesson that art supplies are not in limitless supply. I could even have a yearlong challenge from that to have them make projects using the least amount of resources or to figure out ways to recycle things into an alternative use.
I'm really getting excited about it. I need to write some of this down in my teaching notebook that I've got going. Maybe I can brainstorm a couple more ideas.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: chipper
- Music:One Of These Days -- Santana
But then I got a call. Did I email that person back about the job? Did I not want to teach a Photoshop class and make a little extra money while I was waiting for something? I feel like an ingrate to not take people up on opportunities they find for me. So I am changing my plans for today. I figured it would only take up half of my day. I might still have some time to pursue my own chosen opportunities.
Then my mom says that if I am going to do all that for someone else, why won't I apply for that job out in West Texas. It's pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I see that on the map and see the death of any future social and cultural life. I really don't have a lot goin' for me right now in those areas. I was hopin' to get a job somewhere I could have a chance at them. But she says, if it's not meant to be, it won't happen anyway. What's the big deal? The big deal is that my entire life is looking for a job. I try to take mini-breaks in the day, but it's not the same as havin' a day off. I guess yesterday was that day. It would be too much to ask for an entire weekend.
And you can't "just say no" when you live with someone. It's not worth the fight. Because I suspect that even if I won, even if I insisted on doing what I want I would no longer have the energy to do what I want. It wouldn't be worth it. There are times in life when you have to surrender to the situation. I think if I can come to accept that, I can have more peace.
I am so eager to get to the point in my life when my life is my own to choose what to do with my own free time. PLEASE let me find a job soon.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
drained - Music:Subject to Status --Pitchshifter
Things aren't always sunshine and roses in Loch's world. I try to be cheery and optimistic despite the negativity that seems to be raining down on me on a daily basis. That being said, the following is a rant about how frustrated I am right now.
I spend the first couple of hours of my mornings looking on the region websites to see if there are any new job listings. I have applied to those same sites and only just recently realized that the jobs pop up at the individual ISD websites first. I can't even begin to know all the possible school district sites in Texas or even just around Dallas. I've just been adding town names to ISD in a google search. This makes my morning search so much longer. I went through it in a couple of hours this morning and found one that I hadn't applied for yet.
I'm not joking when I say it takes HOURS to fill out these applications. I have a notebook to keep track of all my information that they've asked me for. It never fails that every time I fill one of these out it asks me a new question that I have to track down the answer for. Today's was "what is the address of your high school"? Who cares? But I googled it, wrote it down in my little notebook, and then went to fill the info in. I think I timed out 5 times at least lookin' up information and would have to redo the page I was on. I also had to rescan and resize my documents because my PDFs were too big. I've had to convert my documents to different file types for several different applications.
I had to put in 5 references this time. Two were my mentor teachers, two were my seminar/liason instructors, and one was a friend. I always leave friends as a last ditch if they ask for five. Another site I applied to first actually showed me which references had replied back to the verification email. That one only required three, but only one of them had ever replied. What do you think the odds of me getting that job?
Hate is a strong word and I don't like to use it. I HATE that I did all this work (especially later in life), spent all this time and money for another college degree, only to now be at the mercy of references for my entire future. I didn't even get a chance to ask one of the above people for a letter of recommendation before she offered to write one. She went on and on about what a glowing recommendation I was going to get, how there weren't enough adjectives to describe how wonderful I was. As much as I wanted that recommendation, I suspected I wasn't going to get it while she was saying it. She hadn't answered a single email in the entire time I worked with her. I am left with two letters of recommendation and many sites request three. It makes me look bad because other people can't be relied on to do what they say. I'm not the kind of person that would keep pressuring the subject either. I let it go and I suspect I'm suffering for it now.
So about the 67 questions: After hours of filling out the application, rescanning and resizing documents, converting files, uploading, and then taking a test, I could finally submit my application to the school district. My friend that I used as a reference sent me an IM sayin' he just got something from the school district. He opened it and said it was 67 questions where he had to rate me on a scale of 1-5. I thought he was joking. He sent me the link. Sure enough there are 67 questions and all with little red asterisks that indicate they are required fields, but they were't just rating questions. Every other one is an essay question. Just looking at it made me cry. No one would fill this out. Not even once, much less every time I apply for a job.
All that work, all that time, all that money, and it's all for nothing if I can't even make it through the application process.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
helpless - Music:Try A Little Tenderness -- Michael Buble
I'm workin' on a couple of commissions right now, but there is still one slot open if you're considering. I love the commissions I have right now. I've been workin' on them too slowly though. I guess I have been draggin' them out to make them last. I need to get to work!
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: hopeful
- Music:Fragile -- Kylie Minogue
Let's also give a low estimate of utilities at $100. That includes electric, gas, and water. Cable and internet aren't even factoring into this equation. A low estimate of $100 for gas for my car. I can spend more than that in 2 weeks, but let's just imagine I'm near a grocery store where I can walk through the gunfire to save some expense. Speaking of groceries, let's call that $100 too. I've rarely seen a $100 grocery month, but let's just pretend that the prices are good in the 'hood and I found some coupons on the ground. $150 for car insurance only leaves me $50 for a cell phone which I will need if I'm gonna get a better job. Money left over for emergencies: 0.
I was wondering how I did this before, but before the cost of living wasn't at the rate it is now. Everyone's salaries are dropping, but groceries, gas, and all the rest are still at the level when society in general was livin' better. In less than 6 months, my student loans will start coming due. I don't foresee any way of paying them, but if I put them on deferment, I will still have all that interest accruing. My mom has been having to get into what little of her savings for retirement every month. I can't blame her for being stressed out and wanting me to get out as quick as possible.
So my options are: get an evening minimum wage job so that I can possibly substitute teach during the day. I need to get my foot in the door somehow. OR teach English in South Korea. Free airfare and housing, plus better pay than I'd be able to make here. The con to that one is that I'm out of the country for a full year. If something comes available mid-year I can't jump on it. And if I don't leave until August, that means I won't be back until August. I would lose the summer to search for a job.
If anyone has any other suggestions, I'd like to hear them...
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
busy - Music:Waiting In Vain--Annie Lennox
I recently graduated, yay! I wish I'd posted a little bit about that when it happened, but I was in such a rush for A-kon that it just slipped my mind. I might have some flashback entries. Speakin' of A-Kon, that went well. Not as well as last year, but that was to be expected. With the loss of 2 computers and a laptop, I lost a LOT of art. I didn't have the print files so I could restock when I ran out of some things, which did happen. I also only had 3 new artworks done. I just couldn't get more done because of graduation and so much going on that last semester. So 3rd year A-Kon I made more than my 1st year, but not as much as my 2nd. I can't complain. I was able to pay for my new button maker and it is a dream. I'm gonna upload some button images to my deviantArt.
I've been out less than a month and am already getting very concerned about finding a job. I've applied at every elementary and middle school within at least a 100 mile radius of Dallas and that has been less than 10 jobs. I had one interview and that was yesterday. Turns out that was at a middle school AND high school. I can't in good conscience take a job that I feel under qualified for. High school is a bit out of my realm. I want to be able to teach cross curriculum, but I haven't had a lot of the classes they are takin' in high school like physics and calculus and all that. I wouldn't be doin' any service to the students if I went in knowin' I wasn't qualified.
I haven't heard back from any of the other schools. I've tried calling and when I got no answer, I sent emails to human resources or principals (depending on who was doin' the hiring). I heard back from one school that I would love to work at, but the principal said that they had received a "vast number of applicants" and they would be calling back the ones with the best credentials. I know what that means: prior work experience. For whatever reason, teaching at the computer center for almost 5 years doesn't count to them at all as teaching experience. Several others have already been filled and the others I have gotten no reply from. It doesn't look good.
I am going to have to look for another job starting in July. I have been given an ultimatum and I know that is because money is getting really tight. I couldn't find a receptionist job before when the economy was moderately better. Does this mean I'll have to go back to a minimum wage job that leaves me exhausted by the end of the day? Something that barely pays the rent and doesn't begin to cover my student loans? I don't have my Airstream to live in now and that means I'll have to pay double the rent (at least) that I was payin' while I lived in it.
This is all very stressful and knowin' that time is runnin' out doesn't help. I can think of things to do to make money, but I can't come up with anything that will be consistent enough to afford living on my own. I need an evening job so that I can still go on interviews or even substitute teach. I need to take a deep breath and weigh my options. I might have to have more than one (or even two) thing goin' to be able to make it.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
stressed - Music:I Remember You--Diana Krall
- Pack Up Your Troubles (1942) SIGNED by Ted Malone
- How to Abandon Ship (1942) by Richards & Banigan (historical wording is quite humorous in this one!)
- Old Mother West Wind (1910) by Thornton W. Burgess
- Essay on Lord Clive (1910) by Macaulay
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: hopeful
I think it's possibly because I've noticed how short other people's entries are. If they write anything of moderate length, they put it under a cut so they don't take up too much space in one of their friend's friend pages. That seems to go against the very reason of having a journal. If I wanted to hide what I had written, I'd just use a paper journal. It's certainly not that I have nothing to say. A lot of stuff is goin' on with me right now and I think about writing all the time.
Maybe I should just find another place to journal. I don't know.
I love writing.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
annoyed
Today I start my workout and it got me thinking about health and how people make resolutions in January and already feel like they've failed by February. I think for some people there is too much dwelling on how they didn't do it well yesterday or didn't do it at all and they push the guilt of remembering it out of their head and "forget" to do it today or make up excuses for not doing it. The excuses we make today never sound as convincing tomorrow do they?
I have managed to get past that with my workout somehow. If I miss a workout, I can't worry about why I didn't do it yesterday, I just work on today. I have been steadily working out since November, right up until a couple of weeks ago. Not sure why I suddenly fell out of the habit, but there's no reason to waste time coming up with justifying it and feeling guilty over it isn't productive either. I've developed the ability to move on and not dwell on it for exercise (I just wish I could do that with drawing).
Last week I was supposed to start my workout and I'm sure you're thinking, didn't she just say she has been working out since November? Yeah, I have. That was the work UP to my workout. The workout is pretty intense and so there is a 14 week preparation workout program to get you ready for it. The program I'm doing is from The Body Sculpting Bible for Women. It's really good. Not just a workout, it discusses general health, nutrition and all that good stuff.
So I'm starting the actual workout this week. I need to get my cardio up (that is my weakest point right now) because I start a dance class at school in March. I don't want to be layin' on the floor wheezing after 5 minutes. This workout has me training with weights 3 days a week and doing aerobic activity 3 days a week. I get to pick the aerobic workout, which I usually do DDR or some dance workout DVDs to mix it up and keep it interesting. Well, I'd better get to it!
I love weight training.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: chipper
- Music:Funny Funny Little Girl--Galaxy Fraulein Yuna
Last night I had a good four hours that I could have used drawing. I haven't really had a lot of time to speak of for art over the holiday and yet I must have spent it staring into space because I couldn't tell you what I did. One of my New Year's resolutions was to manage my time better so that I can draw, but I don't think poor time management is the problem. There is something that physically won't let me draw some days. I just shut down.
I woke up at 5:30am with a realization. I think I must have had a dream, because I felt like I was in the middle of some kind of fight or argument. I woke up in a defensive mood about art and I lay there thinking about it only because my alarm was going to go off in 30 minutes anyway. If I didn't have the alarm set, I probably would have told myself it wasn't important and gone right back to sleep.
I started wondering what I was going to say to students as an art teacher that would make them disregard the thousands of negative things they will hear about art whenever they are drawing. I thought about what I would say to their parents who don't even know that they are crushing the artist in their child every time they say something. And I don't know what to say.
Drawing is the first thing that I dedicated myself to; it takes a lot of patience, diligence, and hard work to become good at drawing. Kids are nervous when they learn to do new things. Usually they have to be coaxed into it or shown that it could be done, like riding a bike. A kid never having seen a bike or never having heard of one wouldn't see one laying there and think, I'm gonna stand that up on those two narrow wheels and get it to balance while rolling it down the street. They typically see someone riding a bike and think, I could do that! Probably because no one ever told them they couldn't. A crayon is a different matter. It is unassuming and fits in your hand and when you move it around against something else it leaves behind a line of color. A way to communicate what we are thinking and feeling that isn't screaming or crying or monosyllabic grunts. It is probably the first thing put in our hands that proves, to us anyway, that we aren't just someone else's creations, but we ourselves can create. How very quickly after being offered that crayon is it taken from us. Don't draw on the wall. Don't draw on the table. Don't draw outside the lines. Don't draw boobs and man parts. Don't. Don't. Don't.
Later comes the you-can't-do-that-until-you-finish-this-f
And we listen. Art homework is done last. But artwork takes the most time and now we are up all night telling ourselves that we work better at the last minute. Now we seem all of those negative things people unconsciously think about artists all because we waited until the last minute. Suddenly it's important just because it IS homework, not because it is art. See, art makes you lazy.
I never knew what to say when adults would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. You already knew better than to say I Want To Be An Artist. It seemed like other kids that could just throw a vocation out there had more focus and ambition, yet they spent their time playing and I spent mine drawing. Kids that draw are some of the first to show focus, ambition, dedication, and all those other things that are important to being successful in life. Then we are quickly told that art can be none of those things and therefore we begin to believe that we are none of those things.
And now drawing is the last thing I do after everything else has been done. I can't even think about it if there is laundry to be done or any other mundane task I can think of. When it's time to draw I sit there wondering what it was I forgot to do that day. There is a guilty discomfort in knowing that Now it is time to draw. I must have forgotten to do something. Where is tomorrow's list?
Just do it already.
I am like a fat person that's struggled their entire life to lose weight. Everyone telling me to just do it, but there are a million negative comments in my head telling me I can't and why not, telling me I'm not worth it and why not. One vs. A Million. It doesn't take a genius to see who's going to win that fight more often than not. And every time it wins, it's one more negative voice saying, "see, I told you that you couldn't do it." Each day becomes One Million and One, One Million and Two, One Million and Three...
I'd like to think that this is the time I say I've had enough, I won't listen any more. I know it isn't. You can't fight the fight when you live with someone that is on the other side. It's really hard to admit you are going to lose the Battle of Today and know that you will lose hundreds more before it's done.
I'm glad I wrote all of this but until this is over, I love sleeping in.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: tired
I was born in that place with a sword in my hand. There were others, elves, but I did not know them and they did not know me although it was just outside the solitary home of those people. I speak their language, but their culture is foreign to me. There is nothing familiar here in this place or in these people. I searched the city for someone that knew of me, of my past. The paladins told me their God sent me to them first. I was fated to be one of them. I do not know this God. Quite honestly though, theirs is the first building I encountered upon entering the city. I stayed with them because they gave me something I needed, something I didn't have, a name... Renthas.
On rare occasions I will have dreams where I am male. This one was quite interesting. I suspect I was dreaming of playing EverQuest again and he was the character I made. In the end of the dream I was with a large group of people trying to kill a giant, but the others realized it wasn't a giant but a god. They yelled at me to run and escape with them, but for some reason I felt I had to stay and fight. One by one they all left me. They came back to recover my body to find the god dead and I was unconscious beside him. The end. >_<
Is there a character somewhere named Renthas? I never can tell if I've made something up or if it was something my subconscious is remembering. I've decided to start making sketches of people I meet (and people I am) in my dreams. This should help me to remember my dreams better as well as draw things right out of my head. Obviously I need practice with it. I can't draw men very well which is clear to see. Still, I think he is kind of handsome.
I love dreaming.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
pensive
Mom just left to sell the spaceship. My beautiful ship...
The ship was my home for many years. I lived longer in that thing than I have lived anywhere in my entire life. I am sad to see it go. My mom says it will be good that it's gone because I can have the money for when I get out of school. I'm not so sure. I've spent so much on that Photography class ($500-700) that I'm concerned the entire amount I get for the ship will go into art supplies for school. I may have nothing of it left at the end. I guess that means it's good that I have the money if I need it.
In other news my computer that I've been having so many problems with now has a new one. It may be the video card. I don't know if I should keep puttin' money into it if I'm just going to have one problem after another with it. I think it has damaged all of my PhotoShop files. It is a depressing thought. I had my commission close to finished when I saw some pretty little red sparklies all over the screen. Next thing I know I have blue lines across my image that won't go away. They seem to be on every image.
I should be thankful that I will have the money to fix it/get a new one, but it is a bit depressing to know that every time I come into a little money, I have a crisis that requires me to spend it almost instantly.
I so wanted to finish this commission and do art over the winter break too...
I loved my little spaceship...
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: disappointed
- Music:A Song From Under the Floorboards--Morrissey
So I was looking at my site hits and noticed that the busiest my site's been this year was in August and September when I had limited internet and no ability to upload. >_< Since I got back to full capacity in October, my site hits have dropped quite steadily. From August to November I had 200 less hits. I'm a bit curious as to why I'd have less hits when I am less active. *shrugs*
I have noticed that a lot of people that come here go to the End-All comic (I never know whether to call it a manga or doujinshi). I am a bit disappointed that I have not been updating it regularly (read: at all). If I can get my act together I have a lot of art I'd like to accomplish. You guys need to get on my case or something.
I'm trying to get a lot of my other to-do list done so that I will have some time to art during the winter break. We'll be moving during that time too, so I'll be busy with that as well. It's not like I don't have a lot of ideas to work on. Check it out:
Art To-Do List
1 commission
3 free sketches
End-All manga + character design sheets
98 of the 100 theme pictures left to do
16 misc picture ideas for fanart or whatever
40 CafePress t-shirt, print, and button ideas
And that's not counting the 6 other comic strip ideas I have WAY on the backburner. I have a lot of stuff to do! I need to get to work. >_< I'm so excited about getting back to End-All, I just need to get this commission out of the way. To tell the truth, I'm pretty excited about doing art in general. I am starting to get out of this dry spell and feel motivated again. Of course, a lot of that could be that I'm in finals week too and want to do ANYTHING but all of these projects I've got due. Heheh.
School makes me very motivated to draw. I see other artists making a living with their webcomics and art and all that and I have been resenting the amount of money I've had to spend on school. I've spent more on supplies in Photography class than I paid for my car. I can see why the art department is one of the first things poor schools cut. I have heard that some art teachers just teach one or two classes a day. I need to work on my art now so I can have a supplimental income from it when the time comes if needed. I'm gonna have one hell of a student loan due when I get out of this.
I love drawing.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
determined - Music:Castles in the Sky--Ian Van Dahl
I've been thinking lately about why I haven't been doing any artwork. It's not that I don't want to and it's not that I don't have time. I made a time schedule at the beginning of this semester which I then totally disregarded. I spend entirely too much time on Gaia. I like talking to friends there, but I spend a lot of time just clickin' around. So why am I not drawing? There has to be a reason since I have the time, not a lot, but I do have it. I even redid my schedule halfway through the semester to allow myself for an hour of drawing almost every evening. I don't think I actually did it once. I should have had 10-15 hours a week to draw and I didn't even finish a single commission. I made time to exercise and I do that, why can I not do that with drawing?
I have been giving this some thought and I think it is because I'm afraid of art becoming too much like work. I restrict myself to commissions first and then I go forever without working on them. It's not like I don't even like doing commissions. They don't seem like work at all when I'm doing them. When I'm doing art I am in the zone. It is quite relaxing. And after all, if they WERE like work, I would probably actually be doing them as I have a pretty good work ethic.
So maybe I should actually treat art like a job. Set work hours and "clock in". The anxiety about it only lasts until I get started. I just have to get past that and get started. That's what I did with exercise except I scheduled that when I first wake up and so I don't have time to get anxious or make excuses. I just get up and get to it. Too bad I need a little more brain function for art. >_<
I think my resolution for next year will be more dedication to my art time and manage my time a little better.
I love having internet at home.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:A&M--Commerce
- Mood: contemplative
I did notice that my tripometer stops advancing when I turn the car completely off. I have to turn it off and then turn it to where it's runnin' on the battery. You know, that one click before ignition. Unfortunately that makes it a bit trickier. I've noticed that a couple of times when I thought the car was off, it was not when I went to restart. That sound it makes when you try to start an already running car is not pretty. I'm going to have to turn the radio off and really focus.
It's kind of annoying when you're tryin' to do this and someone catches up to you from behind. I won't do it when someone's following me. I think it would be pretty rude. But I just drive 60mph when I've got someone back there to keep it at the optimum fuel efficiency speed. Speed limit is 65, so I guess I'm makin' them drive at their best fuel efficiency too. Hahahaa! ^_^;; 5 miles under isn't enough to invoke road rage, I hope. I will pull to the shoulder and let them pass when there is one. Saving gas is one thing, but I still want to be considerate to other people on the road.
I love green bean casserole.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood: hopeful
- Music:Ever So Lonely--Sheila Chandra
My birthday was yesterday and I got a lot of great presents and cards. Yay! I updated Citrus Kiss with my new birthday arts and some arts that I had gotten when I was without internet. 8 new pictures so check 'em out! I also added some links to friends' DA sites. I am sure I probably forgot a few, but I'll get them all up there.
I'm gonna squeeze in a little time to work on a commission today. I can't believe how long this picture is takin' me. ^_^;; I cannot wait until school's out for winter break. I'm gonna try to draw a lot then, although we'll be actually movin' stuff from Oklahoma during that time. Sooo much stuff to move. I have another room's worth of boxes and furniture, but only one room to put it in. My room is pretty full now. I will probably be doin' some serious eBayin' in the new year.
I can't believe that we can't find any decent holiday cards this year. My mom and I have been to WalMart, Target, 1/2 Price Books, and even the pharmacy here in town. I think we're gonna venture out to Barnes & Noble here in a little while. It's an hour away... I really want to send cards this year though!
I love pumpkin pie!
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:Sulphur Springs, Texas
- Mood:
artistic - Music:Beyond the Sea--Kevin Spacey
Another suggestion I've see to keep your car more fuel efficient is to travel at around 60 mph. I was driving yesterday and think I have figured this out. If I am movin' along steadily at 30 mph, the rpm doodad said 1.5. At 60 mph it said 2. At 70 mph it said 2.5. So the difference from 60-70 is the same in rpm as from 30-60. You can see the obvious difference.
I don't know all about rpm, but I do know that if you're stompin' the accelerator it goes up and you use a lot of gas. I am going to try to keep it at 2 or under for city driving and my trip to school (when I'm not coasting with the engine off). I'm just going to do the hypermiling on my way to school when no one is behind me. If I've got someone back there, I will maintain it at 60 mph. Gotta save those other rats for when I need 'em.
Next time I fill up, I'll see how many miles per gallon I can get. Let's hope it's a while before I have to go back to the gas station. I filled up on Thursday and I'm still on "F". ^_~
I love green tea.
XOXOX,
Loch
- Location:A&M--Commerce, Texas
- Mood: bored
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